


Lavender Cigarettes

by Madame_Marauder



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: But I got bored 3 months ago, Crack, Gay, Have this sad sack of shit, I apologize for the OC, M/M, so here
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-15
Updated: 2017-01-15
Packaged: 2018-09-17 19:07:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,165
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9338915
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Madame_Marauder/pseuds/Madame_Marauder
Summary: Just something I had sitting around. I'll probably never finish it.Regina is the newest member of the Order, and is fed up with their lack of action.





	

    A young woman sat in a windowsill, cigarette in hand. She watched the lights of Muggle London flicker and dance as she took a drag of her cig.

    “Hello there, Remus,” she said, seeing someone approach from inside the house.

     “Molly told me to come yell at you not to expose the Secret,” he said, frowning.

     The woman snorted. “Yeah, right. Like that would happen. I'm still perfectly within the Fidelus.”

     “I never said you weren't,” Remus replied. “Sirius tried to explain that to her. He was wise enough to skedaddle before she started yelling.”

      “He's not doing very well,” she said, blowing lavender-scented smoke at him, before turning back to the cityscape. “I've known him for what, two or three months? But I can tell.”

      Remus pursed his lips, and nodded.

     “I had an idea,” the younger Order member admitted quietly. “I haven't done anything yet, but it's a fairly good idea, I think.”

     Remus tilted his head, moving to lean against a wall. “Oh?”

     The woman took another hit of her cigarette. “Yeah. I mean, I work at the DMLE. More specifically, I work as a cataloger and researcher, right?”

      “Apparently.”

      She exhaled a puff of smoke. “So this puts me in a position none of the other Order members have. It's nearly time to do inventory, you know. Update all the nasty paperwork and such, that shit.”

     “Okay. And?”

     The woman swung her head to look the other directly in the eye. “That includes trial transcripts, Remus.”

     “Regina-”

     She shook her head. “No, listen. If anything is missing, we are  _ obligated  _ to report it. Obviously, the others were paid off. But I can tell the right people, who will pull strings. We can get him a trial. We can get him freed.”

     Remus was on edge, plain as day. “Dumbledore said-”

     “Damn it, it doesn't matter what he says! He's a manipulative old git, and I curse myself for not seeing it sooner. Fuck the political climate, he's head of the Wizengamot! He can call a trial whenever he damn well pleases. He's got the power, but he does nothing with it. And now that I'm in this Fried Chicken Club, I might as well do some good,” Regina spat. She took a long pull from her cigarette to sooth her nerves.

     Regina extinguished her cigarette, and flicked the butt out of the window, fixing Remus with a flinty glare. “You're his best friend. His only friend, really. You know what this godforsaken place is doing to him. You can see it in his eyes. When I joined up and we started using this place as Headquarters, yes, he was ragged and gaunt and exhausted, but his eyes were so much less haunted. But here he sees ghosts around every corner and regrets in every floorboard. His demons live in these walls, Remus, and his mistakes loom in every shadow. This is Azkaban, 2.0.”

       “Do it.”

 

       The stormy-eyed young cataloger knocked sheepishly on the doorframe to Amelia Bones’s office. “This year's records,” she called out.

       Madam Bones waved her in. “Yes, thank you. Put them here, if you would.”

       Regina set down the stack of papers, silently cursing the fact that they couldn't be shrunken. She lingered in place for a moment, before asking, “Uh, Madam Bones?”

        Her superior set down her quill and looked up. “What is it?”

        “I'm concerned about a flaw in the records. You see, I couldn't find a transcript of Sirius Black’s trial. Or a list of involved lawyers or solicitors. Or his wand. Or any evidence that there was one at all, actually,” she said nervously, fiddling with her sleeve. “Nothing seems to have been taken, though. Everything was undisturbed.”

        Madam Bones pursed her lips. “That's very odd. Why was this not reported sooner?”

         Regina swallowed nervously. “I don't want to cause problems for anyone, but when I mentioned it to Mr. Harris, he didn't seem too surprised. If someone bribed him-” 

        “I'll look into it,” Madam Bones promised. “Rest assured, justice will be found.”

        Regina nodded and thanked her, leaving a scent of lavender behind as she exited.

 

        The DMLE Head didn't know just how right she was.

 

        After the next Order meeting, Regina pulled Remus aside. “I mentioned it to Madam Bones the other day. The ball is rolling, and she's pushing for a new trial. They should give in within a month.”

        “Should I mention it to Sirius?”

        Regina shrugged. “How should I know? I'm just the one pulling strings. You're his friend.”

        “You should be involved, though,” Remus insisted.

       She shook her head. “I don't do emotions. I'm bad at dealing with emotional people, and this is definitely emotional. Tell him, but also tell him to pay no mind to the woman behind the curtain. Phrase it like that, too.” She turned and walked away before Remus could say anything.

 

      “Padfoot,” Remus said, turning to look at the man sitting next to him. “I need to tell you something.”

      The other raised an eyebrow, but continued reading his book. 

      “No, really. It's important.”

      Sirius dog-eared the page and looked up. “What is it, Moony?”

      Remus took a deep breath. “Someone is pulling some strings.  We should be able to get you a trial in just outside a month.”

      “You're kidding,” Sirius said flatly. When Remus shook his head, he was thrilled to see a brighter spark light in his friend's grey eyes. “Really?”

      “Truly. She's actually quite good at manipulation.”

      “She? Who is it?”

      Remus let a light smile play on his lips. “She said, and I quote, ‘Tell him to pay no mind to the woman behind the curtain.’ Lovely reference, too. Not many wizards know that movie.”

      “Well,” Sirius said, lips twitching, “She's not a wizard, now is she?”

       And Remus nearly whooped with joy at seeing him crack a joke.

 

       Two weeks later, Regina dropped a ripped out news article into Remus’s lap as she passed. “Scandal at the Ministry!” screamed the title of the short piece. Said scandalous Ministry had obviously tried to hush it up, and failed.

      He scanned the article and looked up, eyes wide. “Ten days, then, to prepare,” he said.

      Regina gave him a tired smile over her mug of coffee as the rest of the Order filed out. “Ten days.”

      Remus scrambled to his feet and nearly ran towards Sirius’s room. Opening the door, he found the other Marauder holding a letter from Harry, and a similar newspaper clipping.

      “Ten days,” he said hoarsely, and the other echoed him. 

 

      “Nine days,” Remus said, scribbling a list of necessary points.

      “Eight days,” Sirius explained, holding up a package containing new dress robes.

      “Seven days,” Remus muttered on Halloween, arms wrapped around Sirius, both faces tearstained.

      “Six days,” Sirius whispered, pacing as he thought about Harry’s latest letter, delivered by way of Dumbledore.

      “Five days,” Remus thought as he lay panting after the moon.

      “Four days,” Sirius murmured as he stared at the mahogany door which he dared not open.

      “Three days,” Remus reminded them both, staring at the photo hanging on the wall.

      “Two days,” Sirius promised himself, glaring after Snape’s retreating form.

      “One day,” Remus said, handing Sirius the official summons that had been Banished to just outside the Fidelus.

 

      “Showtime,” Regina said, gazing at where Sirius sat stiffly in the prisoner's chair.

      “This session of the Wizengamot is hereby called to session,” said Madam Bones. “Let the trial of Sirius Orion Black III begin.”

      “Yes, let it. Only took you fourteen years,” Sirius muttered.

      Augusta Longbottom, who Regina had managed to speak to just before the trial, stood. 

      “Regent Longbottom is recognized,” said Madam Bones.

      “Before the questioning begins,” the elderly woman said, “I propose the use of Veritaserum.”

       Madam Bones nodded briefly. “All in favor?” 

       Most of the Wizengamot stood, and she looked at Sirius. “Accused, do you consent to the use of Veritaserum?”

       A childhood of etiquette training took over, and he replied smoothly, “I do.”

       A scribe came forward and administered three drops of the truth serum.

       “State your full name,” the scribe ordered.

       “Sirius Orion Black III.”

       “What is your birthday?”

       “November 3rd.”

       “The Veritaserum is working,” said the scribe. “Let the questioning begin.”

        Madam Bones pulled a sheet of parchment in front of her. “Were you or were you not Lily and James Potter’s Secret Keeper?” she asked.

       “I was the first of two,” Sirius replied dully.

      Madam Bones ignored the general murmuring from the crowd. “Did you or did you not betray Lily and James Potter to the Dark Lord  known as Voldemort?”

      “I did not.”

       There were gasps and mutters, but they too were ignored. “Did you or did you not ever willingly serve or aid Lord Voldemort?”

       “I did not.”

       The crowd grew louder, and Madam Bones banged the gavel. “Silence! Now, did you or did you not pursue Peter Pettigrew on the night of October 31, 1981.”

       “I did.”

       “Did you or did you not fire a Blasting Curse, killing him and 13 Muggles?”

       “I did not. Peter Pettigrew is alive.”

       The courtroom erupted into noise, and Madam Bones pounded the gavel against the desk. “Quiet! Quiet! How did Peter Pettigrew survive?”

       “He realized he was cornered, and shouted that I had betrayed Lily and my brother. Before I could do anything, he cut off his own finger and blasted the street, transforming and scurrying down the drain with the other rats.”

       “Your brother?” Madam Bones asked.

       “James,” Sirius clarified.

       “Ah. And transformed?”

       “Pettigrew is an illegal animagus.”

 

       Regina smiled as she watched Remus and Sirius embrace in the front hall of Grimmauld Place, clinging to each other for dear life. A letter was being sent to Harry, and Molly had decided to make a celebratory feast.

       Pulling a lavender cigarette from her pocket, she lit it and sighed. Prior knowledge was something she'd miss, but it was worth it. It was all worth it.

       She slipped out of the dining room and headed down a small set of steps, past the kitchen, just beyond the scullery, and stopped in front of a small cupboard. “Kreacher,” she called.

       “What does Lavender Woman want with Kreacher?” the old elf responded.

       “I want to destroy the locket.”

       The door was flung open, and the ragged house elf stood there, eyes wide. “Is Lavender Woman serious?” he asked.

       Regina nodded. “Yes. I can get rid of it for you.”

 

       Twenty minutes later, the Horcrux was destroyed by way of a basilisk fang, which was in no way illegally gotten.

       Regina headed back upstairs in time to roll her eyes at the ridiculous amount of food Molly had produced. But no one was complaining as the mood lightened for the first time in seemingly forever. Dinner was a lively affair with jokes and stories told, and everyone went to bed for the night with stomachs full and hearts light. Of course, Remus and Sirius went first thing in the morning to get a properly matched wand for Sirius.

        Over next few days, they were back to reading separate books, but the silence was much more comfortable. Remus could've sang with joy when Sirius casually put an arm around his shoulders and propped his feet up on the table.

        The goblins were sorting out quite a mess at Gringotts, what with disowning and contrasting wills and rebellious family magic, so by the time Christmas break rolled around, Sirius was only just able to go house hunting. Of course, not that that got done with Harry around.

        For most of the break, they would disappear nearly as much as the twins did, only consistently found during meals. When asked where he was, Harry would only reply, “With Sirius,” and Sirius would reply, “With Harry.”

        Remus was a tad worried about them, but considering that they both seemed happier than he'd seen in a long time, he let them be.

 

        When a muffled explosion was heard down the hall, followed by uncontrollable laughter, Remus sighed and walked down to see what fresh havoc the twins had unleashed. What he was not expecting to see was a room covered in various potion stains occupied by not just the (now lime green-haired) twins, but Sirius, and Harry.

        “I'm going to say that didn't work,” Harry said.

         “Considering it was supposed to be pink,” Fred began.

         “I'm going to agree with you there,” finished George.

         Sirius turned when he heard Remus clear his throat. “Hey, Moony,” he said sheepishly. 

          “How old are you?” Remus asked.

          Sirius muttered under his breath. “35.”

          Remus raised an eyebrow. “And yet you still didn't invite me?”

          Sirius grinned. “It's not that I didn't want to… but yeah.”

          “Come on, Padfoot,” Remus said. “You should know to invite me when you attempt a potion.”

         “I wasn't the one brewing this time,” Sirius retorted. 

         Harry nudged his godfather and nodded to the twins. “Uh, Sirius. You didn't tell them.”

          Remus and Sirius both looked over to see the twins looking like Christmas had come a day early. “You mean to tell us,” George started.

         “That you two,” picked up Fred

         “Are half of the Marauders?” they asked in unison.

        Harry snorted into his hand at the others’ expressions. “Yes,” he replied for them.

         The twins looked over at them eagerly. “Teach us!”

 

         Regina watched the scene from the landing, soft smile on her face. A few more changes and she'd be gone, but it was worth it. She silently passed them and paused outside a mahogany door. She took a deep breath, and stepped inside. 

         She was greeted by a tidy bedroom, with dominant colors of green and silver. Newspaper clippings were tacked up on the wall above a desk, upon which sat a pile of letters. She flicked through them rapidly, pulling the one labeled ‘To my brother, Sirius’ from the stack. With one last glance around the bedroom, she stepped out and dropped the letter on the floor in front of Sirius’s room.

 

         Sirius and Remus sat cross-legged on the kitchen counter, talking animatedly. Fred and George were across from them, perched on the island. 

         “But how did you key it to each person?” Fred asked.

         Sirius waved towards Remus who answered, “Oh, voice activated runes. Nothing too complicated.”

         “Well, it took us the better part of a month to key it to each individual student,” Sirius cut in. “If you could just set it to location on the tables, it would be fine.”

         George thought for a moment, then said, “Why not just use voice activation for the Heads of Houses?”

         Remus and Sirius glanced at each other. “Why didn't we think of that?”

 

         Regina stood on the edge of the pebbled shore, fire blazing at the tip of her wand. “I thought you might want to see this,” she yelled to the lake. “I broke into Hogwarts to get this, you know!” Her voice echoed around the cave. “It's the second-to-last one left now, since my friend took care of the snake!”

          She drew a tiara from the brown satchel she wore, and aimed her wand at it. “Oh, namesake!” she called. “Don't you want to watch? I came here especially for you.”

         When the cavern was silent, Regina sighed and conjured a metal box and tossed the diadem in. “Such a waste,” she muttered, shooting a jet of fiendfyre into the box, watching as it melted into unusable slag.

         The flames slowly died out as the metal cooled, and she ran a hand over it. “Gone. Just the scar left.”

         Exhaling slowly, Regina sat down a few yards back from the water's edge, keeping a low flame ward around her. Tracing patterns with her finger, she said quietly, “Nobody knows what you did, namesake. Your brother thinks that some other Death Eater killed you, and the Death Eaters chalk you up as another loss to the Order. The Wizarding World’s unsung hero, whose story was passed down in secret for generations, leaving a halfblooded time-travelling witch with your initials. What would you say, I wonder?” she mused aloud. “What would you say, Regulus Arcturus Black? What would you have to tell Regina Amya Blakely?”

          At a sudden noise at the water’s edge, her head snapped up. A boy, maybe a year younger than her, was crawling out of the water. But not in the jerky, unintelligent way of an Inferius, no. He moved with an instinctive grace, desperate though his movements were. His sharp silver eyes were clear, unlike the foggy orbs of the undead. And he was breathing. Kind of a giveaway, that.

          “This was not in the plan,” muttered Regina, shocked. “Not at all in the plan.”

          The boy looked up at her. “Who-” he panted. “Who- are you?”           Regina stared at him for a moment before finding her voice. “I am the grandaughter of your brother's godson, and I traveled back in time to save the world.”

           RAB and RAB stared at each other for a moment, before Regulus promptly passed out face first into the pebbles.

 

          “Fred, that's genius!” exclaimed Harry. “We  _ have  _ to do that once we get back to Hogwarts!”

          The redhead shot him a smile. “But of course, Harrykins. What better way to claim your title as Prongs’s son?”

 

           Regulus awoke on a couch, being watched over by a dark-haired woman. She took as sip from her tea, her stormy eyes staring at him contemplatively. “Good to see you awake, namesake,” she said eventually.

           “Namesake?” asked Regulus.

           “Yeah,” Regina replied. “Nice to meet you, Regulus Arcturus Black. I'm Regina Amya Blakely, daughter of Lily Luna Potter and Alyssa Katlyn Blakely. Granddaughter of Harry James Potter, who is godson to one Sirius Orion Black III. So I'm your time-traveling sorta-great-great-niece. But just call me Regina.”

          Regulus blinked.

          “Welcome back to the real world, mate. 15 years and a whole lot of bullshit later.”

          Regulus blinked again, then asked, “Time-traveling?”

          Regina nodded. “Well, more like dimension-hopping, I suppose. Occupational hazard as an Unspeakable. So when I woke up in this universe in 1995, I decided to do some good. All but one of the Horcruxes are gone, between the two of us.”

          “The locket?” 

          “Kreacher destroyed it himself,” Regina said with a soft smile. “Wanted to ‘avenge his dear Master Regulus’.” 

 

          Sirius raised an eyebrow as the soot-covered twins trudged into the kitchen. “Do I want to know?” he asked, bemused.

          George shrugged. “Probably not,” he admitted.

          “Was anything damaged, other than your egos?” Remus asked, handing over two washcloths.

          Fred shook his head. “Nah. Didn't even scorch the ceiling that badly.”

 

          Regina shook her head. “What am I supposed to do with you?” she asked quietly.

          Regulus raised an eyebrow. “And whatever is that supposed to mean?”

          “You're legally dead, your magic core is severely depleted, though only temporarily, and you technically died 15 years ago. So I ask again, what the  _ fuck  _ am I supposed to do with you?” she retorted.

           “Good point.”

           “No, ya think?!”


End file.
